If you woke up this morning feeling like you’ve narrowly escaped death by dysentery on the Oregon Trail, you probably had a long night of tequila shots and gin and tonics. Everything probably hurts. The sun is in your eyes, your roommate is blasting Kanye West, and there are children screaming in the street below. Your phone is almost dead and you’re wearing too many layers. Your head is pounding and your muscles are sore.
If this is you, unfortunately, you’re suffering from a hangover. Unless this was your first night experimenting with alcohol, you’ve probably been here before, and have yet to learn from your mistakes. To help get you through the day, we’ve compiled a list of cures you may or may not have tried before.
This is a classic for a reason. If you were smart, you would have chugged a glass of water before bed, but on the off chance you didn’t, drink it now. Dehydration is one of the main culprits for your hangover pain. Research has shown that drinking water can alleviate nausea, headaches, and fatigue. The only thing it won’t fix is your regret.
Bananas and Saltines
And yes, you should eat them together. Potassium and salt are natural electrolytes that, once they’re in the body, absorb and retain water. In addition, potassium is helpful for your muscles. The more bananas you eat, the less Charley horse’s you will get.
Skip the children’s Flintstone’s vitamins and opt for an all-inclusive daily multivitamin that will give your body the daily boost of health it deserves. Be warned: You MUST eat something before taking a vitamin. If you don’t, you will be extra nauseous, as vitamins are best served on a full stomach. If you’re so hungover that you can’t eat anything without vomiting, then I’m sorry for you. Your life sucks.
Milk is a base. Beer and wine are considered acidic, whereas liquor is essentially in the middle—matching water on the pH scale. Drinking milk can help balance your stomach and decrease nausea. Then again, vomiting milk is probably one of the grossest things to happen to mankind.
Aspirin and Coffee
You may have to be a functional human today. If you don’t have the luxury of laying in bed bingeing House of Cards all day, this might be the remedy for you. This combination can give you the boost you need to get through the day and kill your headache. Although, the downfall is that coffee is known to dehydrate, and can further anger your other symptoms.
Hair of the Dog
Although this isn’t technically a ‘cure’, it can act as a symptom blocker. Of course, drinking more alcohol will only prolong your hangover, but it can get you through the toughest of times. The key to this method is to not get drunk. Have two to three drinks maximum and have one glass of water for every drink. Take a nap, wake up. Drink some water and start over.